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Tourism
Jokes for South Africa |
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Subject:
South Africa questions
These questions about South Africa were
posted on a South African Tourism Website
and were answered by the website owner -
unfortunately we were forwarded these without
any reference to the original website so
if you know which website it comes from
please let us know so we can give credit
to them. |
Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have
never seen it raining on TV, so how do the plants
grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just
sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street?
(USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can
I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometers, take
lots of water...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South
Africa? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes...?
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South
Africa? Can you send me a list of them in JHB,
Cape Town, Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? (UK)
A: ....and what did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Koala
Bear racing in South Africa? (USA)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle
of the Pacific.
A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent
south of Europe which does not... oh forget it.
Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night
in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South Africa? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact
us when you get here and we'll send the rest of
the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
(USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering
Ger-man-y, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the
Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in
Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races.
Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the
fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can
sell it in South Africa? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa
where the female population is smaller than the
male population? (Italy)
A: Yes. Gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa?
(France)
A: Only at Christmas
Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is
milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan
hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South
Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-me-ri-ca, which is where
YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly
harmless, can be safely handled and make good
pets.
Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to
contact the girl I dated while I was staying in
Hillbrow. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by
the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places
I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first. |
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Map of South Africa |
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Travel Agent |
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Hambanathi Travel
Travel with us! Let us take care of all your travel arrangements, worldwide!
From filghts to cruises, safaris & business trips, we have over 20 years of experience in travel arrangements for people in South Africa to travel locally or internationally.
Telephone: +27 (0)33 394 7870
Mobile: 082 897 5937
Email: barky@lantic.net
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